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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Not Funny

Some are born funny. People such as myself fall into that category. There's an aura of hilarity that clearly surrounds me. Walking into Gyan Manch to see everyone grinning in my general direction has made me absolutely certain of that. I am pleased, since it has always been my fervent wish to spread the twin causes of mirth and merriment.

Some attain funniness. They develop and maintain a unique sense of humour. Some are subtle and yet cutting. Others believe in broad slapstick. Still others are skilled in feghoots that make you groan and laugh at the same time. They all have a hand in making the world a better, lighter place.

Some people try and thrust their idea of funniness down the throats of disinterested strangers. Such people are pricks.

A word of advice to those who aim to amuse. The following are NOT funny.

1) Suggesting to a cat lover that he drown his pets.
2) Making disparaging comments about the breasts of a fellow blogger.
3) Mentioning your classmates by name, and then insulting them publicly.
4) Calling your sister a slut.
5) Using your ignorance of Eliot as an excuse to insult men whose age and IQ are both twice as much as yours.
6) Using a half-baked knowledge of sociology to attack people without provocation.
7) Calling into question the legitimacy of the marriage of the parents of one of the few people who still tolerates you.
8) Homophobia
9) Stupidity

And above all

Threatening to hit people is NOT funny.

But you know what would be funny.

TRYING to hit those people.