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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Queer Eye

Gay culture is a big deal in this country. In fact, its more than that. I have never seen a people so obsessed with stereotypes than Americans. And sexuality being a hot issue, the gay and the straight stand in two distinct cultural zones, and are being pushed further apart with the introduction of every new fall line.

So straight men drink beer. And gay men drink pink gins and prettily coloured cocktails. I still remember the horror on my American friend's face when I ordered a green apple martini (apparently its strictly a girls drink).

I also hear about this TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Basically five classy gay men (referred to as the Fab Five) burst into a scruffy straight man's life and drag him kicking and screaming to a beauty parlour to buff his toenails and teach him how to sip his martinis, both shaken and stirred.

Now I dislike this show immensely. The underlying premise is simple - to be neat, clean, well-groomed and cultured, you need to sleep with men. The men who sleep with women are all slobs, therefore, and the women tolerate them anyway. So some MSM's are needed to tell these walking testosterone factories to take a daily bath.

In this country there are just some things straight men can't do. Avoid anything pink (or close to it). Any kind of clothes that are slightly shiny are out. Personal hygiene and good grooming are to be avoided as far as possible, and expressions like "That's so sweet", "tacky", "bedskirt", "bath linen" and "you look fabulous", are to be avoided at all costs.

This reminds me of the days when I was 6 years old and got regularly teased by the bigger guys who concluded that by not joining them to play football, I was actually a girl. In the face of logic like that, I gave up.

Then I grew up. But sadly, many people refuse to.